Constructive Criticism

It shouldn't take an hour and 15 minutes to go to the movie store located five minutes from your house, but with construction, anything is possible -- except avoiding it.

On the way to the video store I noticed a long line of cars stopped on the road I normally use on my return trip. So thinking I was going to out smart the men in the neon vests, I decided to take an alternate route. Time -- 5:15 p.m.

Leaving the video store with my purchase, I got in my car and headed for the alternative route. I got about a quarter of a mile when I was stopped in a long line.

"What the fuck is going on?" I said to myself.

I figured there were just many more people waiting to turn right up ahead than straight or left, so I got in the left lane, bypassing them all, and planned to turn left, make a U-ey and proceed straight through the light on my desired path. Bad move.

When I got closer to the end of the line I noticed the "merge right" sign and more neon vested high school dropouts. There were about ten of them, one was brooming, the others were staring at the cars, probably looking for blondes in Saturns.

I knew no one would let me in the right lane, after pulling the unforgivable fast pass to the left, so I turned around and just figured I would take my normal route and bare the "wait" of construction's heavy burden.

This time as I neared my intersection light I was stuck in the right lane. Unbeknownst to me, there was more fucking construction ahead, and I was in the lane which I couldn't be in again. Last time I was forced to merge right, now I was forced to merge left. I just can't fucking beat these tar-hearted-son-of-a bitches.

Hoping for one last chance at outsmarting their bullshit procrastination (seriously, they had all summer to do this fucking work, when the 30,000 students would NOT be around) I took a right, knowing I could use a back way to work around the site and then just turn at a later road.

When I bypassed the work site and needed to turn back on to the main road I had just left, it was so congested that I couldn't even get into the lane going straight, to make a turn around and go right on the way back. I was forced to turn right at the light, sending me completely out of my way. I made the 15 minute detour only to arrive back at the road I would have normally taken. Then I waited there in line for 20 more minutes. Time -- 6:10 p.m.

In the future, if I see the neon vests, I am going to plan on merging into an overpass guard rail.

Heaven is never under construction.