Scotty Don't

Hey Scott Kosten, my Stats 160 instructor, please, pretty please, p^ please, stop saying the word basically.

You say it way too much. So much in fact, that I started keeping tallies in my notes where your boring lectures should be. Let's see here, yeah, I have data of your redundancy from last week.

Monday you lectured for 43 minutes and said the word basically 36 times.

Tuesday you shortened your lecture to 38 minutes, but still managed to say basically 29 times.

By my calculations, the probability that you will say the word basically more times than I blink is (ok, let's see...independent events, no replacement, wilcoxin fit...) Mr. Kosten, its a fucking guarantee, baller!

Listen, you're a smart fellow, you know your stats, you're just so boring and repetitive in your approach to teaching that I would rather construct a tree diagram to find my chances of winning the lotto than pay close attention to your drivel.

But, I want to help you Kosty, I really do. I feel like we have made a teacher/student connection in a really dull, residual analysis sort of way. So, because I am an English minor, I will give you some alternatives for the word basically. Here goes:

Primarily, essentially, principally, intrinsically and fundamentally. There are probably more, but for now, this will do.

Scott-ster, to make a long story short, just mix it up yo! For example, pretend your choice of words are evenly dispersed on a 6-sided die. One of them is the word basically and the other 5 are the alternatives I have suggested. What is the probability that you will be less boring if you take my advice and roll the die every time you feel yourself reaching for that magic word?

Basically, its a fucking guarantee, baller.