Send Blogging Molly Hate Mail to ENG 105 Care of Dan Baker

I know, I know. I haven't updated in forever and even when I do, its guaranteed I won't be doing it again for another extended period of time (If he only knew that was a good thing) But its not my fault! It's English 105's fault.

Granted, the papers are not too hard, and only 4-6 pages in required length, but there is one due every god damn week it seems. I research, I plan, I write, I revise, I write, I plan, I cut myself, I write... (did he just say "I cut myself?" shit, Jon, stop listening to Mulligan). Then on the day the paper is due, I take a deep breath, because when I exhale, I am going to need to be telling the class what my topic and thesis is for my next paper. I research, I plan, I write, I revise.

Sometimes, when my eyes start to burn really badly, from staring at the monitor for 6 consecutive hours, I go get Chinese food, but that stuff never fills you up. (I think he's losing his mind)

I am on my last paper for the semester. After I turn that in I get to revise all previous papers to get them ready for "The Portfolio." This is the sacred English epitaph that inspires all followers to have improved from point A to point B. I usually write poorly on purpose in the beginning, then turn on the charm for the finished product; something I've been doing since 7th grade. I slack, I sleep, I drink, I write. (what a scumbag, why doesn't he apply himself for once)

Hey dick, I'll apply myself when I am damn well ready! (whaaaaat? you could hear me that whole time?)

Yeah.

(Weird)