Wangsters

Man, there arn't a whole lot of people I hate in this world, but I hate me some Wangsters. For those that do not know, Wangsters are "wanna be Gangsters." The weirdest thing about Wangsters is that they are usually white, come from a middle class family, and drive their Mom's Alero around town like its theirs, while they blast Eminem all fucking day. In other words, they have no business trying to be Gangsters, and they are NOT tough.

See, Gangsters are gangster because they really don't have a lot of other options left. No one wakes up in the morning and says "Damn man, fuck my oppurtunty to get an education and a REAL job, I want to be a motherfucking Gangster. And if I work EXTRA hard at selling drugs, kicking asses and pimping hos, I might, I just might, become a Gangsta."

But Wangsters are not Gangsta, shiiiit, they're not even Wangsta, they just pretend to be. Wangsters have oppurtunites and come from nice neighborhoods. They just have too many role models with a "Lil" before their name. They wear Fubu, walk with a limp, drink 40's and act tough.

If you walked a Wangster through the projects on the north side of Chicago he'd be running in no time, with no sign of a limp, and he would need a new pair of Fubu jeans pronto, extra baggy please.

The thing I hate most about Wagster's though, is the way they talk -- I call this their "blaccent". Listen up Wangsters, you're white, you're from Michigan, why do you sound like 50 Cent? When did this happen? I am positive it wasn't on accident, and there's NO way you came out of your mom, pimp slapped the nurse, and said, "Yo, Doc, whatchu got on my 40 homie?".

Eminem is a Wangster, Vanilla Ice...Wangster, that kid in your class, who calls you "dog" all the time, is a god damn Wangster, and if you read this, and now you're pissed, you're a fucking Wangster too, and you need to snap out of that shit.

Hate me some Wangsters...